Imagine
by AquaRias
Summary: Stuck in a cycle of depression and loneliness, Kurt and Finn are both pushing everyone away in an attempt to deal with their own separate issues. Sometimes reaching out for help can be the hardest thing. Sometimes, it makes all the difference. Slash.
1. There's no heaven

**Imagine**

**Summary: Stuck in a cycle of depression and loneliness, Kurt and Finn are both pushing everyone away in an attempt to deal with their own separate issues. The flaws in 'going at it alone' are multiple and obvious, but sometimes the hardest thing to do can be to reach out for help. Slash. **

**A/N: Okay, so as a Glee fanfiction virgin I'm sure to get a lot of things wrong here, so do me a favour and point them out so I can fix it mmmkay? Obviously this one is a little angsty and dark to begin with. Pairings will be (non-established) Kurt/Finn with some Kurt/Blaine and Finn/Rachel to begin with. Deviates after Britney/Brittany. I may incorporate some things from newer episodes as the happen, and obviously Blaine is still in it, but the actual deviation starts there. Just a short prologue type chapter one for now. More soon. Also, if you are looking for angst you are in the right place, but if you are looking for an angst ridden tragic ending you are most certainly in the WRONG place. Because I'm a stickler for happy endings. **

**Warnings: Slash, obviously. Angst, Abuse, mild noncon situations, language. **

**Note: AU after Britney/Brittany. **

_There's no heaven_

The _bang _as his shoulder collided with the metal locker was so loud that it almost drowned out the words being spoken. Almost.

"Excuse me _fag,_ didn't see you there hidden under all that gay-ness." Not the most original of insults, but for Neanderthals like Karofsky it could be considered partially creative.

Kurt was now well practiced in ignoring the hulking football player, having endured this treatment on a daily basis. _Actually, that's an understatement, _he thought to himself. Since school had resumed after the summer, Kurt had been lucky to escape a fourth incident each day, and that was not for lack of trying. So, like usual, he continued on his way, acted like the pain in his shoulder was not nearly as crippling as it truly was, and attempted to ignore him. Usually, this was a good tactic – arguing or fighting back in any way rarely amounted to a peaceful and non violent interaction.

"Hey! I'm talking to you queer!" Although occasionally there were those days when nothing he did would matter to the large teenager. Argue or not, acknowledge Karofsky's presence or ignore him entirely, some days he was just out for blood.

"What do you want Karofsky?" Kurt sighed, the weariness he now associated with encounters with Karofsky beginning to seep into his bones.

Karofsky began to smile that smug little smirk that often frequented his face when he was able to get the queer to do what he wanted. "Just want to have a chat Hummel." Kurt swallowed nervously, knowing exactly what they would be 'talking' about. The silence stretched between them for a few moments, before Kurt finally raised his gaze from the floor to focus on a point somewhere behind Karofsky's shoulder. "Where?" He whispered, the defeat audible in his tone.

"Locker room. Now." Karofsky turned around, beginning to swagger over in the direction of the team's locker room. Kurt was overcome by a bout of indecision – the choice of complying silently, or running, calling for help….anything. But no, his feet lead him to follow the bully around the corner. Running only delayed the inevitable, and it was always a lot worse after he ran. Telling would serve no purpose. Everyone knew he was bullied by the football player and then some. Calling for help…well, Finn and Puck weren't there this time. Which, in a twisted sort of way he was grateful for. Despite the fact that they now put a stop to the encounters whenever they were present, the next encounter was always ten times worse after his fellow glee members intervened.

Before he realised he had arrived, he found himself yanked into the locker room by the larger boy. Karofsky wasted no time in showing him up against the lockers, his back digging into the vents. _So predictable_. Kurt found himself thinking. You would think, after so much practice, Karofsky may have worked out how to deviate in his routine slightly. A sharp fist in his gut halted Kurt's thoughts as he realised the encounter had begun.

….X…

"…So what do you think?"

To be honest, he really couldn't care less. In fact, he had not been listening for almost the entire one way conversation he was having with his girlfriend. There was a certain advantage in having people doubt whether you could actually understand most English words, Finn had decided. While he did feel a small amount of guilt over not listening to something Rachel was clearly passionate about…who was he kidding? Rachel was passionate about _everything_. And to be honest, listening to _everything_ Rachel had to say might just drive him crazy. Or insane. Which are the same thing anyway, so either way, he wouldn't come out normal. But anyway…the guilt was lessened by the depreciating glare said girlfriend was currently deflecting his way. Woops…maybe he hadn't been as subtle in his not-listening as he thought he had been.

"Are you even listening to me Finn?" Her shrill voice interrupted his thoughts briefly.

"Of course I am Rachel, continue." Satisfied, she resumed talking at him, whilst he resumed ignoring her. Finn knew he wasn't the smartest guy around, and he definitely knew he wasn't as smart as some of the other dudes he was friends with, like Artie, or Kurt. But he did find the hand gestures that Rachel often resorted to using when conversing with him a little hurtful, and quite simply, demeaning.

And yes he did actually know the meaning of that word – he had looked it up just the other day when Kurt had mentioned it. Kurt knew a lot of interesting words and Finn had endeavoured to try and learn them all. It wasn't his fault his vocabulary was severely lacking due an almost legitimate learning disorder. Well, he found it hard to pay attention and actually _learn_ anything in class. He was pretty sure that was a learning disability.

Anyway. Usually Rachel didn't bother him this much. But today was different. This whole week had been different…and, if he was completely honest with himself, the last month or so had been different. Nothing had changed, which was perhaps half of the problem. He supposed, now that he thought about it, that he had almost hoped Rachel would change the longer they dated. Not that he minded Rachel. Not at all. After all, you don't date someone you don't like. At least, that was what Finn found himself telling himself lately.

To be honest, things had been kinda screwed up since the end of last year. Ever since the shit with Puck and Quinn, and then his treatment of Kurt towards the end of the year…he couldn't help but think he had managed to lose all his friends around the same time. Including Kurt – especially Kurt. He knew now that no amount of protecting him from Karofsky would ever erase the hurt he had caused Kurt by saying what he had. And he hated it.

"Finn. Finn!" Rachel gave a frustrated sigh as he finally turned towards her. He was surprised to see her frown a bit, instead of the glare he was expecting. "You okay? You've been weird today."

The concern in her voice was enough to make him smile. "I'm fine Rach, what were you saying?" She took the cue as he knew she would and continued her speech about all thirty-eight reasons why Mr. Schue should let them sing Britney Spears.

Finn nodded like usual, added in a few words of agreement. But to be honest, he just didn't care. He couldn't give a crap about what songs they sung in glee this week. To be honest, he hardly even noticed anymore.

Not since Puck, not since Quinn.

Not since he said those things to Kurt…

He just didn't care.


	2. It's easy if you try

_It's easy if you try…or maybe not so easy?_

"Hey bro. Sup?" Finn jerked at the sudden weight on his shoulder, turning to face the perpetrator.

"Oh. Hey Puck." He mumbled, shaking his head a little. This whole thinking too much thing was really taking up his attention...he really needed to stop that.

"What's up?" Puck asked again as he leaned on his locker, this time with a confused and mildly concerned look on his face. "You're all spaced out again dude."

"Sorry." Finn apologised, turning to face him. "Just been thinking about stuff."

"What stuff?" Puck pushed, tilting his head slightly.

"Nothing major…just Rachel and shit." Finn lied, at this moment wishing the truce and sort-of friendship he had gained with Puck had never eventuated.

"Yeah right man." Puck said with a frown. "I'm not stupid you know. You got that look on your face."

"What look?" Finn sighed, already over dealing with his former-best-friend acting like everything was normal between them.

"You know." Puck replied, pausing as he realised Finn really _didn't_ know what he meant. "Like when Quinn was carrying my Puckling. That worried about shit look."

Finn stared at the tanned teenager for a moment before shaking his head. "Right. Whatever man." He began to walk off, hoping that Puck would leave it there.

"Seriously dude. What's up?" Puck must have been feeling really guilty about the whole Quinn thing…that was usually the only reason he would make such an effort with Finn nowadays.

"It's nothing. I've got to go to class Puck. Later dude."

Puck watched as he walked away, shaking his head to himself. "Whatever…" he sighed, and walked away.

….X…

Kurt found himself waiting all day for the final bell to ring. After his encounter with Karofsky, he was having even more trouble then usual pretending things were normal. "Get a grip, Kurt." He muttered to himself, shaking his head. He ignored Mercedes' concerned stare from the seat beside him, and silently rejoiced as the bell signalling the end of Spanish, and thankfully the end of the school day, rang.

"Hey Kurt, we still hanging at mine this afternoon?" Mercedes' grabbed his hand on his way out. _Crap. Completely forgot about that._

"I'm sorry Mercedes, but I promised my father I would help him out at the garage today." Kurt gave his best apologetic look. "He's had a major influx of business lately." Though she looked a little suspicious, Mercedes just nodded and waved goodbye, heading to her own locker. While he felt bad for lying to his best friend, he couldn't exactly tell her the reason he couldn't hang out with her was because he ached so badly from his beating that he could hardly walk. No, definitely not an option.

"Hey Princess." Kurt sighed, jerked out of his thoughts by the undeniable eloquence of Noah Puckerman.

"Can I help you?" He said, admittedly, more then a little bitingly.

Puck, however, did not rise to the bait. "I dunno man. Have you noticed how weird Finn's been acting lately?"

"Not really." Kurt said, swinging his locker closed. To be honest, he wasn't even lying. He really hadn't noticed anything up with his almost-step-brother.

"Oh. Okay." To his credit, Puck did look legitimately concerned. _No,_ Kurt thought. _I didn't notice anything up with Finn, but there is definitely something up with __**you**__. _Nodding by way of goodbye, Puck began to walk away, that half concerned half confused look still evident on his face.

Kurt went back to what he was doing, and soon forgot about the ex-bully's odd behaviour. You never really did know with Puck. Perhaps he was really concerned…but more likely, there were less genuine motives behind his concern. Maybe he was feeling guilty about Quinn again. Kurt really didn't know, and to be honest, he really didn't care.

….X…

A week later, and Finn was still no closer to clearing his head. He swore he was thinking more then he ever had before in the span of one month. Why? He had no clue. But the full-ness of his brain kinda sucked. Even Rachel had noticed his spacing out. And that was saying something.

"Finn! There you are!" Speak of the devil…

"Hey Rach." He greeted with a smile. "What's up?"

"What's up?" She shrieked, the intensity of her voice distracting him from the words for a second. "I was just subjected to the Spanish inquisition…" Oookay, and that's where she lost him. What the hell was a Spanish inquisition? He couldn't remember Mr. Schue mentioning that. Or anyone, really. Not even Kurt. He would have to ask Kurt later, he was sure to know what it meant, even if he didn't use the word. Kurt was just like that, he knew everything. Because he really was a cool guy if you got to know him.

"Finn!" Oh, woops, and there's that losing track of thoughts thing again.

"Sorry Rach, you lost me at the Spanish what's-it." Finn admitted, blushing a little.

Rachel rolled her eyes, grabbing his arm. "Puck just asked me a million questions about us. He thinks there is something wrong with our relationship! This is a disaster! I'm going to have to…"

Puck? Again? Finn sighed, his brain already automatically tuning out his girlfriend's screech that could sometimes be considered a voice. He liked her and all, but sometimes he agreed with Puck's assessment – she would be way hotter with duck tape over her mouth. What was Puck's deal? The dude didn't usually give a shit. No one did. But suddenly, it's all he was hearing about!

Finn walked away from his still rambling girlfriend, heading over to the locker where he knew his ex-best friend would be. Ignoring Rachel's protests, he approached Puck quickly.

"Dude. Is there a problem?" Finn asked, his eyes narrowing uncharacteristically.

"I dunno man, you tell me." Puck answered, closing his locker and turning to face Finn.

"Just stop it Puck." Finn muttered, shaking his head. "I don't know what's in it for you, but I'm fine, there is noting wrong, and questioning my girlfriend about it isn't going to get you answers." Finn paused for a moment, trying to calm himself down before things got out of control. "What's in it for you Puck? Why do you care?"

Puck stared intensely at him for a moment, looking a little confused. "Because I care about you Finn, you're my best friend."

Finn suddenly felt a foreign rush of rage take over his mind. "Shut the fuck up!" he yelled, slamming Puck into the locker. "Stop saying you care. If you cared you wouldn't have _screwed my girlfriend_ and got her pregnant!"

"Calm down, Finn. I thought we were over that." Puck actually looked helpless – a quality that wasn't usually associated with the former bully.

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down!" Finn was lost in the rage, his fists buried in Puck's jacket as he pinned him up against the locker. Nothing made sense anymore, and he was sick of it. Sick of the fake concern and pretend friendships.

"Whoah, whoah what's going on here?" a voice interrupted, grabbing Finn's arm. "Finn, leave him alone. He's not even fighting back. What happened?" Mr. Schue.

"Why do you care?" Finn said hotly, refusing to meet his teacher's gaze.

"What?" Schue seemed a bit taken aback. "What's wrong with you Finn?"

"Nothing!" Finn growled. "There is _nothing_ wrong with me. I'm sick of people asking me that."

"Okay." Schue held his hands out. Like what people did in movies when someone had a gun. "How about we go and talk for a bit?"

Finn shook his head. "I don't want to talk to you. There's nothing to talk about." Sweat was beginning to obstruct his vision a little, but he figured it probably added to the whole bad-ass ness he was probably looking like at the moment.

"Finn, you were holding Puck up against the locker for no reason. And, you're pretty worked up…" Schue was obviously trying to be…what's the word Kurt would use? Tactful, or restrained. One of those. As if he was afraid Finn would go off the rails at any moment.

"Finn, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me. Otherwise, it will be to Figgins." Schue caught his eye, pleading with him to listen. "Come on Finn, just come into the choir room for a bit."

Finn nodded finally, pulling his arm out of Schue's grasp. "Yeah. Yeah okay." Finn followed Schuester into the room, taking a seat as Schue motioned him to.

"What's up, Finn?" He asked, his eyes focused on Finn's face. Like nothing else mattered. Why would he look at Finn like that? Finn hated being confused. Other then arguing with Rachel, it was his least favourite thing. It felt like everyone knew something he didn't, and no one would let him in on the joke.

"Nothing." Finn said, staring at the floor.  
"Please, Finn. Anyone can see there is something wrong with you. Even if Puck hadn't spoken to me earlier today-"

"He what?" Finn interrupted, a dark look in his eyes once more. "What is his _deal_?" Finn growled, standing up and beginning to pace. "I don't get it. What does he get out of this?"

Schue was looking confused again…well, at least Finn wasn't the only one. "get out of what, Finn?"

"This!" Finn sighed, waving his hands for emphasis. "Me being all stressed out like this."

"I think he was just concerned Finn…" Mr. Schue held a hand up as Finn began to interrupt. "These last few weeks you haven't been yourself."

"But he…with Quinn…how can he care about me?" Finn struggled with the idea, finally sitting down.

Schue sighed. "People make mistakes, Finn. Puck didn't mean to hurt you. He, well, he has been trying really hard to make things right between you."

Finn shook his head. "Well it's not going to work. I don't want or need his friendship. I'm fine on my own."

Schue shook his head. "That's your decision. I'm not telling you to forgive him, I'm just telling you to think about it. Puck is reaching out – I think you know as well as I do how hard that is for him. He is trying to make you realise he is sorry."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Finn said finally. "It's making me all angry again."

"Okay." Schue said with a sigh. "Well how about telling me what's got you acting strange lately?"

"I haven't been acting-"

"Okay, okay." Schue interrupted, seeing Finn's anger grow again. Schue really was good at knowing how people were feeling. Like with emotions and stuff. Finn was pretty sure there was a word for that. He would ask Kurt later. "Well how about just tell me anything that has been bothering you lately?"

"Why?" Finn asked plainly, confusion seeping into his mind.

"Sometimes talking about it can make things easier to understand. I want to help you sort things out Finn." Schue said, his hand patting the tall teenager's shoulder in comfort.

"I dunno." Finn shrugged. "It's noting really. Like I said."

"Okay. But there has to be something bothering you? Even if it's just a little thing?" Schue pushed.

"Well, yeah okay. A little. But it's not important or anything." Schue's stare made him continue. "I'm still mad at puck. He pisses me off acting like he cares after what he did." Finn shook his head. "I feel like he's fucking with me. Trying to confuse me or whatever." Finn paused, looking apologetically at his teacher. Schue, however, appeared to have decided to ignore his language for the time being.

"And Rachel." He continued after a moment, "She's kind of getting on my nerves." Schue nodded.

"Anything else?" he pressed quietly.

'Well...yeah there is one thing." Finn looked up at Schue. "I…I don't know if Kurt mentioned anything, but you know I had to move out of Kurt's place, yeah?" Schue nodded in affirmation. "Well, I was kinda mean to him. I said some stuff I didn't mean. I always do that." He sighed in frustration. "Nothing comes out the way I mean it. Like, ever. I think Kurt's cool. I don't mind him being gay or anything. And yeah, the whole crush thing weirded me out. But he's a cool guy, you know? I never meant to hurt him."

Schue nodded. "I think Kurt knows that." He said with a smile. "I don't think he took it as personally as you think."

"Really?" Finn met his gaze. "Cause he seemed kinda bummed about it. And I felt, well, I feel really bad. The whole thing is making me think too much. My head's all full. I can't keep track of things, it's like whenever I'm talking to someone something reminds me of that and I start feeling guilty and get distracted. I can't sleep properly anymore. I can't stop thinking and I'm so over it." Finn sighed.

"I know how you feel Finn. When something important is on your mind it can take up every thought and every moment of the day."

Finn nodded. "Yeah. That's what it feels like. How do I stop it?"

"You need to address the issue. If I've understood right, you feel guilty about saying those things to Kurt, and you have some unresolved issues with Puckerman. Is that right?" Finn nodded hesitantly. "Then talk to Kurt and talk to Puck. Say you're sorry for saying those things to him, and give Puck a chance to tell you how he feels. Try to stay calm and sleep on it before you act on anything Puck says."

Finn sighed, thinking for a while. Finally he raised his head, a small smile on his face. "How did you get so smart Mr. Schue?" He asked, shaking his head.

"It comes with age." Mr. Schue winked. "And from having experienced the same things myself."

Finn nodded. "Well thanks. Really, Mr. Schue. I think it helped."

"No problem." Schue flashed him one of his million dollar smiles. "I'd do it for any of you Glee kids, it's what I'm here for, right?"

Finn felt his heart fall a little at hi words. "Yeah. Bye Mr Schue." He muttered, leaving the room with thoughts swirling around his mind even worse then before. _I'd do it for any of you Glee kids, it's what I'm here for, right?_ Finn sighed. He should have known it wasn't about him. Should have known Schue was just doing his job. Because really, when it came down to it, no one cared.

**A/N: Heyy so sorry for those Kurt lovers out there, this was more of a Fin-y chapter. Kurt's more in the next one, promise! Also, credit must go where credit is due. I borrowed the term 'puckling' from 'How things work' by Crawler. An excellent fic, nice and angsty, I'd suggest you all read it if you enjoy slash of the Kurt/Puck variety. Also, thanks for the reviews and alerts I received :-) there is just nothing better to wake up to then some encouraging comments. –hint hint- hehe. Till next time dudes.**


	3. No hell below us

**Disclaimer: I refuse to disclaim because it is quite obvious I do not own Glee. This will be my only non-disclaimer. Because I don't disclaim. **

**AN: Shout out to ****Stardust585**** for their lovely inspiring review. Comments like Stardusts' remind me why I write – not because I have to, or because I'm expected to, but because I want to and I enjoy it. **

**Apologies to Blaine lovers, he has some rough stuff in store for him…I love him too, but it had to be done –wince-. Also, just in case it wasn't clear enough in this chapter, the Karofsky kiss thing did not happen. **

**Warnings for this chapter: brief noncon scene. Nothing graphic.**

_No hell below us…_

Kurt found getting out of bed that day a struggle. Well, to be accurate, more of a struggle then it usually was when the day happened to be anywhere between Monday and Friday. Unlike most kids, it wasn't the thought of the hard work or the disciplinary atmosphere of school that bothered him – it was the people. He had his friends, of course, but in general the people at McKinley High were insufferable.

"What about Glee?" His father asked as he explained why he wasn't exactly eager for school as they ate breakfast. "You love Glee."

Kurt sat in silence for a moment, stirring his food across his plate. "Yeah," He said finally. "I guess." Burt gave him a concerned glance, but said nothing further on the matter. Kurt appreciated his silence – he really did not feel like talking about whether he did or didn't enjoy Glee at that moment.

Because to be honest, he didn't. He couldn't help but be angered by the fact that he was yet again grouped with the boys in another battle of the sexes. Yet again pushed into a group where he wasn't cared about and wasn't understood. Where he was more likely to be ridiculed then supported.

"Whatever." He muttered. "I don't care anyway."

"What was that?" Burt asked, looking up from his plate.

"Nothing." Kurt sighed. "It's nothing dad."

…X…

Meeting Blaine was the best thing that had happened to Kurt in a long time. Blaine was perfect. He was funny, smart, good looking, talented and most importantly, outwardly gay. He was just what Kurt had been searching for, everything he had been wanting and needing for so long. He was perfect.

Kurt could think of nothing else for days after his visit to Dalton Academy, other then just how perfect Blaine was. He incited a new kind of electricity and excitement in Kurt – something he hadn't felt in a long time. He smiled subconsciously as his phone beeped, alerting him of a newly received text message.

_I hope it's from him…_

He wasn't disappointed.

_K,_ it read.

_Hope today is better then yesterday. Remember your courage!_

_B x_

A smile overtook his face as he read, once again revelling in how much his life had changed for the better since meeting Blaine just days ago.

"You look happy," He was jerked out of his thoughts by Mercedes voice. "This doesn't have anything to do with the cute boy in your locker does it?"

Kurt smirked, closing his locker and turning to his best friend. "So what if it does." He said with a cursive glance.

"Ooh, boy you better spill!" Mercedes practically squealed, catching up to him.

"There is nothing to spill." He answered quickly.

"Yet?' Came Mercedes' response.

He paused, before smiling. "Yet." He agreed. The same smile would occupy his face for the rest of the day.

…X…

A week and a half later, Kurt was lying on his bed, commiserating with himself over the revelation his father had just announced. Finn and Carole would be moving back in. Permanently. And Burt was getting married.

He was interrupted by his morose thoughts by the shrill ringing of his phone. "Hello." He said, lacking his usual enthusiasm.

"Hey Kurt it's Blaine. Are you alright? You never texted me back…"

Kurt perked up slightly at the sound of Blaine's voice. "Hey." He said with a smile. "Sorry, dad decided to drop a bomb on me."

"That's okay. What's up?"  
"Finn's moving back in. And Carole…Dad's marrying her." Kurt said finally with a sigh, flopping back down onto his bed.

"I see." Despite the fact that Kurt couldn't see Blaine through the phone, he could picture the thoughtful look he was sure to have on his face. "Is that a problem?"

Kurt seethed. "Of course it is a problem! Finn's the one that, he, he…He can't live here again!" He said quickly.

Blaine was quiet for a minute, before answering. "It's alright Kurt, calm down. Maybe you should give Finn another chance." Blaine's voice was always so calm, so soothing. Kurt didn't know how he did it.

"What?" Kurt asked, shaking his head. "No, I don't think-"

"Just hear me out." Blaine said patiently. When Kurt didn't interrupt, he continued. "You said Finn apologised for the things he said, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Listen for a sec." Blaine reminded him quietly. "Think about it from his point of view. Think if, say…Rachel was doing to you what you did to Finn. You wouldn't like it, right?"

"Of course not." Kurt scoffed. "Despite the fact that she is clearly _female_, any advance from that…thing…would be something out of a nightmare!"

"Exactly. Think about it. To Finn, you are Rachel. You said he wasn't gay right?"

"Yeah…" Kurt answered, sounding a little morose.

"So to him, you are someone who isn't _female_, hitting on him and getting too close for comfort, right?"

"I guess…" Kurt still didn't sound sure.

"What I'm trying to say, is that Finn's not a bad guy. From what you have told me, he's not deliberately malicious. It is more then likely he didn't mean anything he said to you that day, and was speaking from anger and annoyance. You've said stuff you didn't mean, right? Well it's just like that. He was angry and he snapped. It doesn't mean he hates you…Just, think about it Kurt. If you don't mind me being a little blunt, Finn will be moving in regardless of how you feel about him. So, isn't it easier not to hate him?"

There was silence for a few moments, before Kurt nodded. "Yeah." He said finally. "Yeah I guess you're right. I don't think he really meant it the way I took it…"

Kurt paused, smiling. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Blaine said innocently, the hint of a smile in his voice.

"I don't know. Be so wise, make me realise I'm wrong…" he shook his head. "When anyone else does that it just makes me argue. You're different."

Blaine laughed quietly. "Well, as much as I am glad to be of service, I did have another reason for calling." He admitted.

"And what was that?" Kurt said imperiously, sitting up a little.

"Well," Blaine began. "I don't know how you will take this, so feel free to tell me to bugger off or whatever. But, I was wondering…if you wanted to go out with me?"

Kurt was shocked into silence. "Wait." He said finally. "Like, not as friends?"

"As boyfriends." Blaine clarified. "I want you to be my boyfriend."

"Yes!" Kurt said quickly. "Yes of course!"

"Great." Blaine sighed with what sounded like relief. "Wow that wasn't as hard and awkward as I imagined it." He joked, causing Kurt to smile fondly.

"To be honest, I…" Kurt trailed off. "I was really hoping you would ask."

"Awesome." Blaine said quietly. "Well that's that then…when do you want to go on our first date?"

Kurt paused. "Are you free tomorrow?"

Blaine laughed slightly. "Of course, I'll pick you up at seven."

…X…

"Wait, what?" Finn said quickly, turning to his mother. "We're moving back in with the Hummels?" Panic coursed through his veins briefly as he contemplated this revelation. "Why?"

His mother glanced at him as if he was stupid. A lot of people did that. "Because, Finn, we are getting married. Like I told you."

"But…moving back in?" His eyes widened.

"Married, Finn. As in, living together, hyphenating our last names, married."

"I have to hyphenate my last name?" Finn said, horror overtaking him.

Carole sighed. "No Finn, you don't. But you do have to move in."

"But…" Finn searched for any excuse he could think of. "But Burt kicked me out!" He latched onto this idea with a vengeance – there was no way he was moving back in with Kurt. Not after what he had said to him!

"It was Burt's idea." Carole admitted. "He thinks you boys are ready to try again. What's the problem, Finn?" His mother enquired, looking at him with worry.

"I just…" He shook his head. "I don't want to move back in, okay?" _I can't._ His mind finished. _I can't face him. I can never make up for what I said._

"I don't understand this Finn." Carole said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry that you feel that way, but we are moving in next week, so I really hope you can resolve this by then."

"But…" Finn tried, before sighing. "Fine. Whatever. I'll be in my room." With that he left the kitchen, his nerves pulsing with anger, confusion and another emotion he couldn't identify.

_Why does this have to happen?_ He thought desperately. _I can't deal with this right now._ He shook his head, banging his fist onto his desk. _I gotta get out of here._ With that thought he jumped up from his chair, grabbing his bag and phone. Without a word to his mother, he left the house and made his way down the road. It was times like this he wished he had a car…

Half an hour later found Finn on a sidewalk in the less respectable side of town. Catching sight of a bench, he quickly decided to have a break from walking and sit down for a bit.

It was while he was seated that he saw it – a hooded character not far away from him, walking slowly in his direction. Recognition hit him as he realised he had seen the same figure earlier on his walk. Was this guy following him?

Unnerved, Finn got to his feet and continued the way he had been going. The footsteps behind him increased in pace as his did. Steeling himself for the encounter, Finn turned around.

"What's the deal, man?" he said with a confidence he didn't feel.

The man looked up at him, revealing a brutish, thug-like face beneath his hood. The stalker was older, probably in his forties. He had a strange gleam in his eye that immediately made Finn's hair stand on edge.

"Well aren't you a good looking guy?" The man sneered; his voice was just like his face – ugly and hard.

Finn backed up at the predatory gleam in his eyes. "Look man, just leave me be and I'll be on my way…" he said, taking a slight step backwards with his hands held out.

"Not very smart though, by the looks of it. Coming out here all alone. Knowing I was following you but still turning to confront me. Brave, but stupid. Very stupid." The man assessed Finn again, his eyes lingering on Finn's panicked face. "You deserve everything you get, boy." He said with a low chuckle. "It's like they say. If you're stupid enough to get into the situation then…well, I don't know what they say but it's something along the lines of you deserving what happens to you. At least I won't feel too bad about this."

"Please." Finn said with a quick breath. "Just let me go. I won't tell anyone."

"Damn right you won't boy." The man took a step closer as Finn took one back. "Now just come over here and let's make this easy for you."

Finn didn't move.

"No?" He shook his head. "Well let me put it this way. You come over here willingly, and I'll spare you what's most important."

"Please." Finn gasped. "Please let me go." His attempts at backing up further were stopped by a solid pressing against his back. A wall. He was cornered.

"Come now." The man said, taking a step closer so that he was now within arms reach. "I'm going to say this one more time." He paused, reaching into his pocket. Finn's eyes widened as he saw the shiny point of a knife. "You do one quick thing for me, and no one gets hurt. This is your last chance boy." He held out the knife. "What's it going to be?"

Finn gulped, his eyes trained on the foot long knife in the stranger's hands. Finally he nodded with a reluctance that almost stopped his breathing.

"Good." The man smiled. It was the worst smile Finn had ever seen, and one he would never forget. "Now get down on your knees."

…X…

_I'm home,_ was his only thought as he saw his front door. _Home. Safe._ He hurried inside, not stopped for anything, and made his way straight to his room. There, he collapsed onto his bed and cried.

_Why does this happen to me?_

He couldn't help recalling the man's voice, almost like it was answering him.

_Because you are stupid. If you are stupid enough to get into the situation, then you deserve all you get_.

_How can this be happening?_


	4. Above us only sky

_Above us only sky._

"Where were you just now Finn?" His head shot up at her entrance, unconsciously flinching into himself a little.

"I just…went for a walk." Finn muttered, his eyes downcast. She was going to know. She was going to look at him and see it on his face. See it clinging to his skin. See _him_ clinging to his skin. She would know how stupid he had been. She would be disappointed.

"I know this is hard." Finn began to sweat, his head shaking on its own.

"No…" He whispered. She couldn't know. Not already. It couldn't possibly be so obvious…right?

"And I know this is going to take some time to get used to and get over." She continued, taking a seat on his bed. Finn watched her hesitantly out of the corner of his eye. He felt horrible for sweating – like the creep would seep his ugliness out of Finn's skin through his very pores.

"I just wish you would try, Finn. For me." Finn began to shake his head. "I love Burt." Wait, what? Finn's eyes widened. She didn't know. She hadn't figured it out. He was safe.

"Of course." He said quickly, anxious for her to leave. "I'm going to try. I promise."

She smiled, and for a moment, Finn thought it was worth it. "I love you." She said softly, bending down to kiss his forehead. Once she left, Finn found himself relieved. His secret was safe, for now. Everything would be fine. So long as no one found out, he could forget about it and everything would be okay. It would.

For some reason, the words sounded false even to his own ears.

…X…

"Is everyone happy with this song selection for sectionals?" Almost everyone in the room nodded or made some noise of agreement, other then two. Puck, who clearly wasn't happy with the song choice, and Finn, who was lost in his own thoughts.

Mr Schue frowned. "Finn?" He prompted, causing the boy to look up slowly. "Are you happy with the choices?"

Finn blinked, bringing himself back to the present. "What?" He said slowly. "Oh. Sure, yeah. That's fine." He said noncommittally.

"Great." Mr Schue beamed "Well here's the sheet music for the male lead." He handed the paper to Finn, who took it slowly.

Finn stared at the music for a moment, before shaking his head and looking up. "I don't want to do the male lead." He said finally, his eyes cast downwards so they didn't meet his teachers' eyes. "You should give it to Kurt."

"What?" Schue looked shocked. "Why not?" He asked.

At the same time, Rachel interrupted. "He's joking, of course." She rolled her eyes. "Very funny, Finn."

"Shut _up_ Rachel." Finn muttered with a glare. Taken aback, the girl fell back into her seat.

"But, Finn-" She began, looking concerned.

"I said," Finn stood up quickly, his fists clenched and anger in his eyes. "Shut the fuck up. I'm not doing the lead." With that statement, he left the room, ignoring the open stares and looks of shock on his fellow glee clubbers faces.

"What did I say?" Rachel whined, a mixed look of concern and hurt on her face.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I would have thought it was obvious." He said, glaring down imperiously at the drama queen. At Rachel's confused look, he continued. "Stop speaking for him. He can speak for himself." Kurt shook head. "Honestly, how he deals with you…"

"Kurt." Schue said sharply. "That's enough."

Kurt merely shrugged, not looking at all sorry. Schue sighed, knowing he wouldn't win this battle. "Okay guys, let's keep practicing. Puck, you can take lead for today."

"Maybe later Mr. Schue." Puck said, standing quickly. "I'm gonna check on Finn."

…X…

He didn't know why he had done it. Why he had flipped out in glee…he had been totally uncool. To Rachel, to Schue. But, for some reason, he didn't feel he should take it back. He didn't _want_ to sing male lead anymore…it wasn't important. Not anymore.

"Finn!" He turned at the voice behind him. Puck. He _really_ didn't want to deal with his ex-best friend's obsession right now…

"Yeah?" He said finally, meeting his eyes like nothing was wrong. Because nothing _was_ wrong. It wasn't.

"Dude. What was that in there?" Puck asked, motioning towards the choir room.

Finn shrugged his hands falling into his pockets. "Nothing man. It was nothing."

Puck frowned. "You seemed kinda pissed at Rachel man." He raised an eyebrow. "What was that about?"

"She's annoying." Finn admitted. "And she's getting on my nerves lately. That's all."

"Okay…" Puck didn't look convinced. "She annoys the shit out of all of us. But that was still kinda harsh dude."

Finn shook his head. "I…" His eyes narrowed. "What's it to you anyway?"

Puck looked a little uncomfortable – _probably remembering the last time I asked him that question…._ Finn thought to himself. He would not beat him up again. He wouldn't. He was better then that.

Finally, he just shrugged. "I've said it all before Finn." He said simply, clearly unwilling for a repeat of last times' confrontation.

"I know." Finn said after a moment's silence. "I know. And…well, I believe you." He admitted.

"You mean…?" Puck probably couldn't help the hopeful expression that made its way into his face…but it still made Finn want to laugh at him a little.

"Yeah." He sighed. "It's cool. We're cool." He nodded, as if trying to convince even himself. "I'm over it."

Puck smiled. He really did have a nice smile, a lot nicer then the man's…Finn cut himself off_. No. There will be no thinking about that. It never happened. Nothing is wrong. _He reminded himself quickly.

"So what's up?" Oh yeah, Puck was still there.

"Nothing man. I just don't want to sing lead anymore." Finn said, shaking his head.

"You sure?" Puck frowned again. Wow, Puck must be really worried…he was never usually so persistent. If he was worried, then Finn must not have been acting as well as he had thought. Time to step it up.

He flashed him a smile. "Of course! Kurt deserves some solos, he sings better then me anyway. And the whole thing means a lot more to him then it does to me." That was partially true…it probably did mean more to Kurt, but that wasn't to say it meant nothing to Finn. No, sometimes, Glee seemed like everything. All he had.

"I guess." Puck seemed to finally be willing to let it drop. For now. Finn knew he would bring it up again another time though…he wouldn't be so lucky as to escape it fully.

"What about Rachel?" They fell in step as the bell rang, as their lockers were in the same direction. "You going to break up with her?"

The thought hit Finn quickly, making him stop. Break up with her? Could he do that? He supposed he could. But did he want to? Mentally, he made a list of pros and cons to his and Rachel's relationship. Unsurprisingly, the second list was almost four times the size of the first. Finn smiled.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think I will." That would help, he was sure of it. _It might even fix everything all together_ he thought. A part of his mind knew this wasn't true, but a bigger part of his mind wanted to believe it was. Dump Rachel and everything will get better. Everything will work out. Somehow, he still didn't feel convinced.

…X…

Kurt was happy. He was going out with Blaine tonight, it would be perfect, and nothing and no one could bring him down.

"Hey fag!"

Well…maybe someone could.

"What do you want Karofsky." He sighed, turning to face his main tormentor.

The bully sneered and let loose another one of his oh-so-creative comments he seemed to think passed as insults. "Where's the queer team now, homo? Did they get sick of being infected by your queer-ness?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "Really? Are you serious Karofsky? That's the best you can come up with?" He shook his head. "You insult me by your lack of ability to insult me." He scoffed.

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because less then half a second later saw the brute once again shoving him into the locker. And how this boy just oozes creativity. He felt his back ache as his spine was pressed up against the solidity of the locker, the padlock digging into his lower back. He said nothing, hoping ignoring the brute instead of baiting him might help.

It didn't.

Being after school hours, the hallways were unfortunately deserted. This gave Karofsky the perfect opportunity to practice his right hook on his favourite victim. Kurt winced as the first hit landed, jolting somewhere near his ribs. Luckily, today's episode seemed to be short, because he only received one more fist to the gut before the bully left him be.

Kurt smiled as he straightened up. He was wrong – even that couldn't ruin his good mood that day. Because Blaine asked him out. _Him._ Kurt didn't even lay any hints. Nothing. It was going to be amazing.

Speak of the devil, or think in this case, his phone lit up in his hand. Blaine.

"Hello?" he said quickly with baited breath.

"Hey gorgeous." Oh. My. God. Pet names, already. Kurt quickly struggled to think of something suitable.

"Hey." Or not. Kurt shook his head in an attempt to shake the nerves that had overcome him and talking to his _boyfriend_.

"You excited for tonight?" Blaine asked smoothly, his voice sounding perfect like always.

"Yes." Kurt answered, wincing as his voice seemed to wobble a little bit with his nerves. Why did Blaine always have to be so damn collected?

Blaine laughed softly, making Kurt blush a little. "Good to know. I just wanted to check with you, is it okay if I'm a bit early? I figure if I leave now I can be there around six thirty. Is that alright?"

"Of course." Kurt answered quickly, quelling the sense of panic that rose in him.

"Great. See you soon, Kurt."

Oh, crap. Blaine was going to be early…this would put his schedule of by half an hour! Now was the real question; to spend less time on his clothes or his hair, because one of them would have to be cut. Hair it is.

With the decision made, Kurt hurried to his car, anxious to get home and buy himself some more preparation time.

…X…  
The date had been perfect. Just as Kurt imagined it. They had gone to breadsticks, and Blaine had offered to pay. They had had an easy conversation that carried through the whole meal – it turned out, they had a lot in common.

Talking to Blaine was so easy, so perfect. Kurt couldn't have asked for more.

The pinnacle of their date, however, was when Blaine kissed him goodbye at his door…

"_We're here." Blaine said quietly, jerking Kurt out of his thoughts._

_Kurt smiled and opening his door. He swallowed nervously; he wasn't sure if Blaine would walk him to the door or not. To his pleasant surprise, he did. _

_As the approached the door, Kurt found his hand encased in Blaine's. He pulled slightly, turning him towards him. _

"_I won't come in." Blaine said, sounding a little disappointed. "I don't want to shock your dad so soon." He flashed one of those gorgeous smiles, making Kurt melt on the spot._

"_That's okay." Kurt smiled. "He would probably just interrogate you anyway…"_

_Kurt trailed off as he caught Blaine staring wistfully at him. He met his eyes, his nerves lighting up again.._

"_You are so beautiful." Blaine whispered, lust in his eyes. He took a step forward his arm sliding up higher onto Kurt's. Suddenly, before Kurt could blink, Blaine was kissing him._

_His mouth was soft and warm, but not wet and sloppy like Kurt had imagined kissing to be. At first, their lips were just joined together, resting against one another's. But after a few moments, Blaine pulled him closer, his mouth opening as he did so._

_Kurt found himself extremely nervous at this point – he had no clue how to do this!_

_Blaine forced his own mouth open and before Kurt knew what was happening there was a tongue in his mouth. Kurt pulled away sharply, panting a little._

"_Blaine, I don't know…" He was cut off by a soft finger on his lips._

"_Shhh." Blaine said with a smile. "Just relax. You will like it." He didn't give Kurt a chance to respond before he captured him in another kiss, this time his mouth opening straight away._

_Despite still not feeling completely comfortable with this, and worrying they were moving too fast, Kurt obliged him and opened his own mouth. He closed his eyes as he let his mouth be ravaged by the more experienced teenager. Eventually, he found that it wasn't so bad – it was still weird, and a little scary, but it started to feel pretty good._

_Of course, that was when Blaine pulled away – the moment Kurt began to enjoy it. Figures. _

"_I'll call you." Blaine whispered, before turning around and walking back to his car._

_Kurt was left standing at the door, shell-shocked, for several long moments before he too turned and entered his house. _

Kurt shivered as he remembered the scene, smiling slightly. It had been nice. Blaine was very good looking - he was stupid to have hesitated like he did.

"I'm such an idiot." Kurt muttered, shaking his head as he lay down on his bed. "I shouldn't have tried to tell him I wasn't ready. I enjoyed it, didn't I?"

_Eventually…_

His brain supplied, making him cringe a little. So it had been a little weird, and more then a little scary. And very, very fast. But the date had been perfect. The night had been perfect.

Perfect.

_You just keep telling yourself that…_

Kurt growled, mentally telling himself to shut up. He liked Blaine, and the date had been perfect…right?


	5. Living life as one

AN: Hellooo soo main thing, I'm not dead. As many of you may know QLD Australia has experienced one of the worst natural disasters in our history. The flooding that has occurred hit mainly Rockhampton, Toowoomba, Lockyer valley, Ipswich and…Brisbane, where I live. I hope you all understand that this is the reason for my lack of updates – the story is not forgotten, there are just much more important things going on at this time.

Unfortunately I was in the flood area and there is a lot of damage – I have it easy, I have lost material things like computers etc. Many people have lost their lives and their loved ones to this tragedy.

I managed to get on a friends computer, but I can't predict when I will next have access let alone enough time to update the story – so please be patient.

If anyone reading this has experienced hardship during the Queensland floods (I know there are a couple of you on here) you have my sincere wishes and I hope the clean up goes as well as ours seems to be.

It is times like this when you realise the strength of the human spirit – not to go all sentimental on you, but the response to this disaster has been amazing. In many areas we are no longer accepting volunteers, because there are just too many. Australia has really stepped up in recent days with people from all over the country flying in to help with the search and rescue efforts, and the cleanup. So to any Australians out there, I commend you. We sure do live in a wonderful country, don't we?

Foreign countries have been awesome too – We have had offers of assistance from just about everywhere. The only one I am one hundred percent sure we accepted was some personnel from our neighbours in New Zealand – so if you are from there, thanks! But like I said, with the sheer amount of Australians volunteering we really don't need much out of country help.

Anyways, a little off track there ;) Hope everyone is well, I sincerely hope there isn't anyone else reading this that was negatively affected by this natural disaster, and others that have occurred around the world. I guess it's time to appreciate what we have – if this has taught Australia anything, it's that tragedy can come out of nowhere, when you least expect it, so treasure every day.

Laters!

Arxxx


End file.
